??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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