if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.