Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
