I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize