Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
