Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
