we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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