dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
