He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
