i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
