Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
