You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
