I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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