omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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