We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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