i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
