I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
