She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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