Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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