it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Randomize
