this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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