Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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