In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
