if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
420 ftw
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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