went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
