you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
