This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
