I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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