my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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