There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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