Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
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I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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