He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Drunk is not a location!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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