I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
