i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
