its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
