I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
