I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize