Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
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