i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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