i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
