i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
