Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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