Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
