using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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