I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
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