Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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