Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
