U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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