i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
