After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize