yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize