And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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