why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize