if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Come on in and take your pants off
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