Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
