Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
